Animalistic Sex Versus Making Love

Jonathan Morris Schwartz
3 min readSep 28, 2024

Some men will never make love in their lives, because sex has to be rough — even abusive — to be satisfying

Photo by henri meilhac on Unsplash

Most of us have read — or at least heard of the book Fifty Shades of Grey about a young woman named Anastasia and her sadomasochistic relationship with billionaire Christian Grey.

Forgive my ignorance; what would most people call a self-centered, spoiled, wealthy, entitled man who coerces a vulnerable, sexually innocent woman into allowing herself to be tied up, spanked, tortured, and, effectively, sexually abused?

And then rationalize it by excusing this man’s behavior as a result of his suffering abuse as a child and then turning him into the hero for showing some ultimate vulnerability.

This tale of sexual abuse was heralded as a once-in-a-generation novel — ultimately made into two major motion pictures.

Do most men have Christian Grey-like fantasies of tying women up, hitting them, and sexually dominating and exploiting them?

You know the answer.

Do women have sadomasochistic fantasies as frequently as men?

I doubt it, but I don’t know.

The first few sentences of an abstract in the Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, entitled, Sadomasochism, Sexual…

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Jonathan Morris Schwartz

Jonathan Morris Schwartz is a speech-language pathologist writing about human relationships, love, politics, philosophy, and consciousness.