Jakey’s Bakey Was Kinda Steaky

Jonathan Morris Schwartz
2 min readFeb 26, 2022

Now Jakey’s all wakey

Photo by Ju Guan on Unsplash

Jakay’s Whimsical World — a poem about meat, veggies, and love

Jakey had a rakey he took to the lakey.

But jakey got lost, the rake quickly tossed, and his stomach was achin’ for bacon.

He craved a filet and a strong-streamed bidet but landed in vegan retreating.

He met sweet Marie, who ate meatly discreetly, and they tried to stick to clean eating.

He chopped and he seasoned, he seared and he reasoned, but his veggies took kind of a beating.

His steaky was fakey, lost his uncle’s favorite rakey, and he wore his hair in a bun.

His big crush was breezy and open and free and always made sure they had fun.

Because he’s not a real vegan, doesn’t mean he is weak, he simply loves chicken, his nose grew a beak.

Though Jakey was jubilant, he felt special and glad, it was his broccoli casserole that made him feel sad.

Not cause it was sour or misunderstood but a man must have a cookout in his neighborhood.

One with hamburgers, hotdogs, pork chops, and rib, the kind that necessitate wearing a bib.

An intoxicating mix of hot sauce and spice, Lord help me, meat is a terrible vice.

It’s okay, don’t be scared I’ll stick with the veggie, even though my classmate will give me a wedgie.

At the end of the day, turns out Jakey did lay, the cute vegan who made him eat kale.

Together they’ll stay, there is no need to pray, into the glorious sunset they’ll sail.

Jonathan Morris Schwartz

Jonathan Morris Schwartz is a speech language pathologist living in Ocala, Florida writing about love, politics, philosophy, and consciousness.