Member-only story
Seeking Out Broken People
Power, control, and the irrational expectation someone will forever be in your debt because you “saved” them
Everybody wants to be somebody’s savior
Very few people do something for nothing
We don’t typically insert ourselves into other people’s problems and make them their own unless we believe we’re going to get something in return for our trouble.
Of course, most people will help an old lady cross the street without expecting anything in return, but when it comes to love, sex, and marriage, we feel we need to bring more to the table.
And therefore, many believe if they find a wounded sparrow and heal its broken wing they won’t be able to survive without them. And the object of their “fixing” will be so eternally grateful, that they will love them for the rest of their days.
Maybe you’re just a nice person
No. That’s denial.
Donating to your favorite charity, giving to the homeless, or tithing at church is being nice — taking on someone else's problems, phobias, and manic behavior to get them to love you initially feels great, but is pathologically delusional.
