Member-only story
What Makes Someone Good at Sex
Technique? Practice? Experience? Natural talent? Excessive libido? Random luck?
I’m 58.
I’ve had sex with 8 women in my life.
One in late high school. One in college. Two marriages. One serious girlfriend. 3 from Match.com. And one from Plenty of Fish.
As a young man, I was given advice on how to please a woman and watched a fair amount of porn but never really had a clue as to what I was doing.
I’ve rarely felt at ease during sex — mostly performance anxiety combined with, “I can’t believe this is happening.”
I wanted to please these women, but wondered if I was going too fast or touching, rubbing, or caressing the right spot. Or if I was being too selfish or too self-conscious.
Yes. I looked for cues. Yes. I was guided. But it was still awkward and sometimes anticlimactic….or unromantic.
Yes. I’m a neurotic f*ck.
I’m not ashamed to admit that while I am reasonably smart, sometimes hilariously funny, compassionate, love my family, and am super caring, I’m probably not that great at sex.
Many men and women are….good for them, I say not passive-aggressively….with a healthy dose of blessing their hearts.
